Its been awhile...

So I have not posted in a long time because I can not access blogger from my computer for some reason...

Anyway not much has changed since my last post... We are still on a break and plan to pick up our treatments in August. That will give us the summer to relax and save the money for our next appointment.

On mothers day last month I planned to post but was not able to due to the fact that I cant get on, on my computer!!! But mothers day went well... there were no melt downs of jealousy. I did have a moment in church, when they were preaching on the duties of a Godly mother, that I teared up a little. But I really took the day to appreciate what a wonderful mother I have. Without her I would not have the wisdom of our Lord and Savior instilled in me and I love her for that. Not only did she give me the gift of life at birth but she gave me the gift of eternal life with my Father by teaching me His word. (of course ultimately the gift of eternal life come directly from our Father but my mother always made sure we were in church and learned the word. Then it was up to us to accept it and seek His guidance.)  It is the most important job of any mother to instill Gods love and salvation in that childs life.
My grandmother was handing out gifts on mothers day and placed a plant in front of me along with a card. I looked at her and said "I don't deserve this" and all she said was "read the card". It read "No worries, No hurries, Happy Mothers Day (soon). Soon being written in her hand writing. It was so touching and sweet. It only reminds me that along with faith in my Savior and a supportive family we will achieve parenthood. And not a day later or sooner than the good Lord plans.

Even though we are on a break, infertility is never far from my mind. It is still something I struggle with DAILY! I pray for strength  but that does not mean the sorrow of infertility does not win at times. Although we are "not trying" I still can not pass up the urge to take a pregnancy test. I think letting people know that we are not trying right now has added to the stress a little. Now everyones response as soon as they find out we are on a break or not trying for the summer is "oh well that's when it happens" or "your gonna get pregnant now that your not trying" and I cant lie my heart jumps a little when I hear someone say that. Like that fact that someone says it, that it is set in stone and they have to be right!! I get so hopeful and BAM big negative test result. Instant disappointment. But we will stay strong and hopeful and cast all of our cares upon the Lord. One day we will get that positive or approved adoption we are yearning for. ONE DAY!

So there may be a continued lack of blogging the remainder of the summer. I will update if there are any changes. Please continue to have us in your prayers. The Lord hears every one of them and knows the desires of our hearts. Prayers are the best gifts we can receive!