So as you all know I am open to trying just about anything to become pregnant. Recently we have recieved a blessing from a family member on the hubbys side! The opportunity to see an acupuncture specialist. Im a little skeptical and nervous but also excited. The research ive done shows positive results not just in fertility but in other areas as well. We will see! This is such a blessing! The expense is covered! Which is wonderful as we do not have insurance and are paying for all of our fertility expenses out of pocket!
This blog is also a blessing. It has reached more people than I ever thought! I feel like we have others out there taking the time to read our story and rooting us on! Its so encouraging and humbles me greatly! The pure fact that there are others out there that care! I also love the fact that others out there dealing with infertility can read our story and know that they are not alone! :) And even those that are not dealing with infertility following our blog warms my heart! The genuine concern of others touch our hearts tremendously! But most of all Im thankful that we can share the word of God through this blog.
The hubby and I had a conversation tonight about how important our faith is through this time of struggle. We talked about how easy it is for people dealing with this to place blame on God instead of thinking that this is his plan and is better than we can imagine. God does not do anything evil. His intent is not to harm us. God is good ALL THE TIME!
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow James 1:17
Though at times it is hard for me to see where any good can come from me dealing with infertility I have faith that the Lord has better plans. That just proves that I am human and that my mind is not capable of understanding the wonderful plan God has for my life! It excites me to think of the unveiling of his plan! I know that Im gonna stand in awe of how amazing it is going to be!
At the market Saturday I ran into three different people who follow my blog and had such touching words for me! Im amazed at loving hearts out there! And each experiance was so different! I talked to one who is dealing with a similar situation as mine. Im happy that she can read my blog and know that she is not alone! She has such a sweet heart and I know that the Lord has great plans for her! I talked to another that is a wonderful mother with the most beautiful children who told me that she follows our blog and I could tell the genuine care she has for us and our journey and it touches my heart! The other was one of our family members who came offering this wonderful opportunity for me to try out this acupuncture! She is awesome! She took the time out of her own busy life and thought about us! Reaching out to us with a loving helping hand! We are so thankful for all of you who follow our journey! Keep us in your prayers!
During our conversation today I told the hubby that I never imagined our blog reaching people. Touching hearts. I thought of it as a personal diary to vent and track my infertility never thinking it would touch lives, encourage others, and spread the word of God! But maybe, just maybe this is all part of Gods wonderful plan. :)
Nahum 1:7 The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.
”A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
This last verse is one that helps me out so much! It gives me understanding in my battle with infertility! How wonderful is it that it flat out tells you straight from the bible that God already knows our desires! So on those days that I feel like screaming God do you hear me begging you for a child? I can refer to this verse and remind myself YES Ashley he knows! He has always known! But the next part of the verse is so important! Commit your way to the Lord! What do we get from the word commit? To give yourself completely! To be all in! So I get from this that my main focus should be on the Lord, not getting pregnant or anything else for that matter. Serving him and spreading His word comes first! That is my job as His daughter! Next it says to trust in Him. And I know we often say "Oh I trust God" nonchalantly but do we dig down deep and mean it? That is something I have learned through this! Im not just talking the talk anymore! Im now walking the walk! Praise the Lord! I truly completely TRUST that God has a plan for me! And then it says He shall bring it to pass!!!! Amen! I get from this that I will eventually be on the other side of infertility be it through the birth of a child, adoption, or just being at peace of not being a parent at all. So now I will do what the rest of the verse says. I will rest in the Lord and wait patiently on Him!!
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” Psalm 37: 4,7
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