Upcoming Appointment...

So the nurse called me today and my appointment for my follicle scan is set for February 9th. I don't really understand exactly all that we are doing at this appointment or why we are doing this before other testing but Ive come to realize that I need to just let go and let God! I have google stressed myself to the max on what to expect at this appointment and have exhausted myself! So here is what the nurse told me... I will come in on the 9th and they will do an ultrasound to see if I'm producing healthy follicles along with healthy eggs. The next part is where I get confused ( but I'm gonna have faith that the doctors know what they are doing and so does God) This is what I get from what she told me but am not sure exactly lol. If I'm producing healthy follicles and eggs they will schedule for an HSG or something like that. Basically they will insert a dye  along with an x-ray to see if I have any blockages in my Fallopian tubes and such. If I am not producing healthy follicles or eggs they will put me on clomid and give me this shot that they sent me in the mail to jump start ovulation. Of the two I'm hoping for the latter of the two. Mainly because I'm scared of the HSG procedure.

Infertility is truly a roller coaster ride! I feel like there are moments of good news and excitement that are immediately followed with bad news and depression. I look forward to this appointment! I feel like I have been standing still so long waiting on these appointments to get started and we have hit the ground running! Everything is happening so fast that my thought process of what is going on is in jambles! The nurse overwhelms me when she talks. After her first sentence I feel like the rest of the conversation is her talking in a barrel with me trying to decipher what she is telling me! I cant wait to get to this appointment to slow things down and get out all the questions is have.

Now because I tell every emotion I have through this blog I have to tell you what has been going on the past couple of days. Since the husband has found out all is well in his fertility he has let it go to his head a little. And with me still not knowing my verdict I have let jealousy get the best of me. The day we received his results he was strutting his stuff bragging on himself ( which I now find completely adorable ) but at the time it completely hurt my feelings. I told him to stop bragging that there was nothing wrong with him and that I was the problem. Although that was not at all what he was saying in the emotional state I was in that is how I perceived it. It caused a little bit of a fuss between us that we both had to later apologize for, but I guess those are both legitimate feelings we all have that are dealing with infertility. He now realizes that at that moment it was insensitive of him to celebrate his good news while I was dealing with my bad news. And I realize that I need to be happy for my husband and excited with him. I know he would be for me. After our little fuss he looked at me and told me "I wish it would be something wrong with me and not you, I would take if on if I could" that moment melted my heart and made me realize once again what a wonder man God placed in my life. I have no doubt that God chose us specially for each other.


I have grown so much in my Spiritual walk through this experience. I have felt Gods presence with me every step of the way. He has been there to pick me up when I could not stand on my own. He has been there to hold my hand when I am sad and scared! My love for my Savior is indescribable. He has brought us this far in our journey and I know that He will continue to guide us in all aspects of our life as long as we keep allowing Him to and seeking Him for His guidance. If you do not have a relationship with the Lord I strongly urge you to do so! Seek Him! He is waiting for you to call on Him! Even though we have to deal with the consequences of our sins God is there to make them easier, to guide you through them, so that your not wandering aimlessly blinded with darkness of sin! He can take those sins away! He has already paid the price for them He is just waiting on you to turn them over to Him!

1 Corinthians 2:3

And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling,

1 Corinthians 2:4-5 

And my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Psalm 1:1-6 

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; ...