Just a short update.... Wednesday is the day! We will be going to our first appointment. We have made the decision to not let anything stand in our way of this appointment. No matter what is going on we are going to take the time to go Wednesday morning! If it means missing out on some special event or getting in trouble at work for coming in late, we are going!! Im excited! Hopefully by Friday we will have the results. Im going to take this week to mentally prepare myself for the answers we receive. It can only go one of two ways. And with no other nice way to put it, it will either be something wrong with him or me. Please pray for us this week. Even if the answer is bad news at least it is still an answer! So the famous brown paper bag will be making its appearance Wednesday morning and will no longer sit on my kitchen counter as a constant reminder that we have not even hit the tip of the iceberg yet! And it could not come at a better time. Lately the hubby and I have started to mentally drain ourselves, not that it has caused problems in our marriage but , there is a strain there. I get easily aggravated because Im frustrated all the time for not being able to "fix" the problem. And the hubby is coming to terms with the fact that there is a problem. He has had the mentality of if he doesnt think about it then theres not a problem and it will just fix its self. I think with two years of infertility coming up he has realized that plan is not going to work. So here we go! We are hitting the next leg of the race and our journey is looking all uphill from here with no finish line in sight.... YET! I know that God already knows where we are headed and what struggles we are going to face on this journey. Which helps me feel better because I know the only plans He has for us are great ones!!
I know that once we start this journey with the doctors that my mind will at times get clouded. Wanting a child so badly will over take some of my decision making skills. My goal is to remember to always love the Lord first. Not LOVE having a child or my husband or anything for that matter. It is the first commandment!
All of it, not some of it! So I will try and make sure daily He is my focus and that anything I do is only in His glory, His time, and by His plan! Please continue to pray and I will update you all on our results as soon as we get them! BYE BYE BROWN PAPER BAG THAT PLAGUES ME!! ;)
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