The weak spots!

We missed Berts appointment again today due to his work schedual. Which put me in a funk today! So as you probably know ( if you read my last blog) I found out last week that we once again did not achieve parenthood and that I talked of the strength I had this time around! BUT I am feeling a little bit of aftershock I guess! I know we all have our weak moments and I am seeking God at this weak moment but all the same I am human! I think about all the little children out there crying out for help wanting a family to love them. That are in situations that are not good for them physically or emotionally. And it breaks my heart knowing that there are so many women out there like me yearning for a little child, wanting to provide them with a stable loving christian home. I cannot stand to see any mother out there that does not appreciate the gift from God they have recieved! Do they really understand how preciouse of a miracle a pregnancy is? I mean if you think about it you have this very short window that has to happen at just the right time for only 12 to 24 hours out of each month to achieve pregnancy! It is a glorious miracle everytime a women becomes pregnant. It is a gift that goes unappreciated most of the time. I found myself weak today welling up with tears and a heavy tug at my heart! But the Lord WILL raise me up! It is hard for someone who is not dealing with infertility to understand the emotional rollarcoaster infertility brings. It tests your faith, it tests your marriage, it tests your confidence in yourself and your body, it tests your beliefs of what your future holds! And its funny that the one thing that determines all of these is a TEST that you take each month! Me and Bert have talked about adoption and if it is whats right for us. Adoption is not for everyone. Some people just know that they can not love a child like they are there own if they are in fact not there own. And that is okay and understandable, but for me and Bert that is not the case! We know without a doubt in our hearts that we can adopt a child and love them as if they were biologically ours! Now that we know that that is something we agree on and are open to it is up to God. If that is His plan we will pursue it. We are still going to have all of our testing done and continue to try to become pregnant however we are thinking we may pursue adoption as well if that is what God puts on our hearts to do. Personally I would be thrilled to adopt a child and find out I were pregnant at the same time! I always tell people if I could have a litter I would lol! Bert not so much! Ha ha! Even though I am entitled to be sad I am not entitled to lose faith and I refuse to!

1 John 5: 3-4  Loving God means obeying his commands. And God's commands are not too hard for us, because everyone who is a child of God conquers the world. And this is the victiory that conquers the world-- Our faith.